


and when we're all together (there's nothing to fear)

by BadgerQuest



Series: Almost True Friends [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Canon Compliant, Carson Radek and Rodney are all buddies, Carson is a Sweetheart, Gen, I love him but it's true, John and Jennifer are barely more than cameos, Lots of spoilers in general in this story, Major Teldy Doctor Porter and Sergeant Mehra make cameo appearances, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Radek Zelenka POV, Rodney Actually Has Hypoglycemia, Rodney Is Melodramatic, Season 5 Episode 7 Whispers, Sunday gets discussed ergo the warning, the scary stuff gets mentioned but happened off-page, there are a few mild cusses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22865173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadgerQuest/pseuds/BadgerQuest
Summary: Radek and Rodney are worried about Carson being off-world during the episode "Whispers".
Relationships: Carson Beckett & Radek Zelenka, Radek Zelenka & Rodney McKay, Rodney McKay & Carson Beckett, implied future McKeller
Series: Almost True Friends [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1743940
Kudos: 12





	and when we're all together (there's nothing to fear)

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place right as the surviving quintet returns to Atlantis in “Whispers”, which wasn’t seen in the episode itself. I couldn’t get the idea of Rodney reacting to Carson’s return (and his close call) out of my head, so I wrote it. Also, the ‘DEFCON’ levels are mostly Radek keeping an eye on Rodney’s emotional state, given how volatile Rodney can be.
> 
> Title is from the Bryan Adams' song "This is Where I Belong".

DEFCON 4

Neither of them had bothered to go back to their quarters even after all the other scientists had; it was currently a few hours until dawn and they still hadn’t gotten any news. Radek didn’t bother to point out that Rodney had been staring at the same screen for the past fifteen minutes, particularly since he had been watching Rodney for the past twenty instead of doing any work. Given the circumstances, Radek didn’t bother trying to claim that ‘everything would be fine’. Besides, that was usually the way to attract trouble in this expedition.

Rodney tapped the edge of his lab table with a pen. “They should have been back hours ago.”

“It hasn’t been long enough to send out backup.”

With his usual scowl in place, Rodney got up to pace. “Please, it’s Sheppard and Carson. Obviously, they need backup.”

“Major Teldy’s team is there-”

“They need _more_ backup. We can definitely contact Teyla and Ronon- they wouldn’t mind cutting the visit to the Athosians short, right? Something has gone wrong, I just know it.”

“A gut feeling?” Radek needled his boss, but more importantly, his friend. By now their sharp banter was more of an expression of affection than genuine irritation. Well. Usually, in any case. Rodney could get annoying, and Radek had eventually figured out that his occasional inability to keep up with Rodney was all the more frustrating to Rodney _because_ of all the times they were on the same wavelength.

Glaring at him, Rodney crossed his arms. “No. Recalling all of their previous off-world missions is more than enough to convince me.”

With a sigh, Radek leaned back in his chair. He couldn’t argue with that, as much as he wanted to keep Rodney from winding himself up. A wound-up Rodney was more exasperating than usual. It didn’t help that Radek’s own nerves were heightening the longer they didn’t hear back from Carson. The memory of the first mandatory rest day had been in the back of his mind since Carson and Sheppard had stepped through the wormhole, and Radek knew it was the same for Rodney. He muttered in Czech, “We just got him back, surely the universe won’t be this cruel. Please.”

“Are you cussing me out again?” Rodney squinted.

“For once, no.” Sighing again, Radek admitted, “I am worried for Carson.”

There was a long pause. Rodney hunched his shoulders and crossed his arms tighter as he got out, “Me too.”

Radek just raised his eyebrows and turned back to his laptop to resume waiting for news. That’s all he could do right now- he was a scientist, barely qualifying on the physical requirements for the expedition. When the backup was sent, Radek wouldn’t be able to argue himself into tagging along like Rodney surely would. He would never tell him, as his ego was large enough already, but Radek knew that Rodney had ended up being one of the most physically adept scientists in the expedition just from having to keep up with Sheppard, Teyla, and Ronon on a regular basis.

Carson did his best, but he had _just_ returned to the Pegasus Galaxy after six months of intensive physical therapy back on Earth as he recovered from the drug cocktail Michael had dosed him with on a weekly basis during his two-year captivity. Radek flinched at that reminder, even as it came on the heels of recalling that they had been certain that Carson was dead. There had been heft to the casket Radek and Rodney had helped carry through the wormhole back to Earth, along with Sheppard, Ronon, Evan, and Doctor Cole.

It was equally certain that psychologically unhealthy for everybody involved to treat this Carson as if he was the original, but until another solar system got blown up or a similarly scaled fiasco, frankly Radek was willing to let it slide as he was just grateful to get his friend back in any capacity.

Looking over his shoulder momentarily, Radek saw that Rodney was still standing tensely in the middle of their lab. He was still surprised that Rodney hadn’t lashed out about missing Carson the _most_ that one time when they were reeling from the apparent confirmation of Doctor Weir’s death. It had turned out Rodney had learned some tact over the past few years. Radek had been expecting anger, had almost hoped for it so they could blow off some tension by arguing, but the silent resignation he had gotten instead had been unsettling. 

As far as Radek could tell, Rodney hadn’t really spoken to anyone about Carson’s death; he had merely returned from his bereavement leave with his prickly exterior more clearly a defensive mechanism than it had ever been. Everybody had still treated Rodney warily for some time, until Doctor Weir’s apparent death (er, the first time, dear God, this expedition went through so much) at which point everybody shifted the bulk of their concern to Sheppard.

Radek clicked on a document at random, just to look like he was working. Before her death, Doctor Heightmeyer had voiced her concerns on multiple occasions about Rodney bottling up his feelings regarding Carson’s death, especially given how Rodney was as explosively verbal as a newly shaken soda on virtually any other topic. Of course, Rodney had just glowered in response and had dug in his heels on not discussing that particular matter. The current therapists in the city had in fact been those who stressed to Radek that treating the Carson clone as a ‘replacement goldfish’ would end badly eventually. They lacked the ability to tell Rodney this, although that was admittedly understandable, as Radek also hadn’t worked up the courage to let Rodney know that the situation was unsustainable. Though in his case, Radek was also being selfish in his denial of that fact.

He muttered some unflattering things about the therapists in his native tongue. What else could they have done in the face of getting their friend back in any capacity? Radek snorted- if the therapists wanted Rodney to explode over Carson, insisting on treating his clone with suspicion or as if he was lesser was a good place to start. There probably _would_ be a reckoning in time, but for now they were all clinging to the illusion of normalcy.

Folding his arms on the table, Radek rested his forehead on them. Despite everything, he still wouldn’t take back going on the Atlantis expedition. Even though it came with moments such as this, let alone the higher stakes that happened far too often for his preference, even if he was thankfully not in the thick of things like Rodney. He suspected it was the same for Carson, and frankly Rodney probably would have hit the cosmic reset button by now if he had any serious regrets. After all, an alternate Rodney had done just that to prevent Sheppard from eking out a short existence in an abandoned Atlantis in the far future.

“What is taking them so long?!” Rodney burst out. Ah, a bit of temper at last. Radek literally kept his head down as Rodney continued to rant: “This was supposed to be a quick in and out mission to see an abandoned lab of Michael’s. What possibly could be so damn interesting that they’ve been out all night?!”

“It’s still dark so the night isn’t over yet,” Radek muttered. Their lab didn’t have a window, admittedly, but there were quite a few time-keeping devices in the space. Not that would prevent Rodney’s hyperbole, as nearly nothing could.

Scathingly Rodney retorted, “I meant on the planet. It was about midday here and mid-afternoon there when they left. Didn’t you look up the information?”

“I’m not a worrywart and a need-to-know-it-all like you,” Radek groused in Czech, but without any real bite to his tone.

“Radek, something must have happened. Why- why aren’t you upset?”

Again, another surprising show of tact. Radek strongly suspected the original sentiment would have been “why don’t you care” and then boss or not, friend or not, despite him clearly being worried to distraction over Carson, Radek would have had to punch Rodney.

Lifting up his head, Radek admitted, “I am, but I’m also resigned to the fact that I can’t do anything. If there’s a physical threat, I’m no Ronon- I’m not even a you. And if there’s a medical one, well, that’s Carson’s area of expertise, not mine. All I can do is hope that this time Carson will return safely, along with the others.”

“I should have gone with them; you could have handled things here.”

Radek snorted. “Please, between both of us we barely got today’s work done. It would have been worse if I had been alone to be afraid.”

“You- you don’t mind that I’m here?” Rodney’s voice was oddly small, especially given just how loud he had been just a handful of moments ago.

At times like these, Radek was acutely reminded that while Rodney’s ego was in the stratosphere, his self-esteem was in the planet’s core. A large part of his coming to terms with Rodney was realizing that his frequent displays of arrogance were both a mask and an effort to prove that he had worth, Rodney oblivious that said attitude was a large part of _why_ people ended up wanting him around only when he could be useful. Not that Radek had told him that, mostly because it was still difficult even now for him to tell what would or wouldn’t lead Rodney to do his angry hedgehog impression. It was a sign of their closeness, however, that Radek had pieced together even that much.

“Radek? _Do_ you mind?”

With a blink, Radek realized he had been lost in thought longer than he had meant to be. “If I minded your existence, I would have used that metal pipe on you back when we all were developing amnesia.”

Rodney snorted and half-smiled, “You just don’t want to do my job.”

With an airy wave of his hand, Radek concurred, “Both too much paperwork and too much running after the rest of your team across the galaxy. Besides, it means I get to be the fun parent to the minions.”

He had meant his remarks to lighten the mood, but instead Rodney tightly told him, “Somebody has to worry about those idiots before they get themselves killed.”

Too late Radek recalled that despite his utter lack of skills at social interactions, Rodney did care deeply whenever one of the scientists ended up sent back to Earth in a casket (if that, sometimes). The first clear signs of that were when Gall and Abrams ended up dead on that moon, with Radek only knowing what happened due to reading the mission report as Rodney had never spoken of that day to him, even now, close to five years later. In the end, Rodney’s silence and guilt over his underlings’ deaths had reached a breaking point, causing him to double down on his attempt to solve Project Arcturus after Doctor Collins’ death.

Radek winced, as in hindsight nobody involved had handled that situation well. Carson had been off doing checkups on the Athosians at the time; he had been rather miffed to return to Sheppard, Weir, and Radek himself barely speaking to Rodney while there had been something up with Teyla and Ronon where they were sharing a secret between themselves while being upset with each other at the same time. Radek couldn’t speak for the others, but he had no clue what could have happened on their off-world trip to cause such a peculiar dynamic. He doubted even Sheppard or Weir had gotten any answers out of them, as Teyla and Ronon had quickly regrouped to form a strong friendship.

After a week or so, Carson had sat down both Radek and Rodney to get them to talk things out and if anything, the friendship between the three of them had only become stronger as a result. In contrast, Radek frankly suspected that Rodney and Sheppard only started to regain their friendship out of sheer loneliness after both Carson and Doctor Weir had been presumed dead.

Occasionally Radek was afraid that Carson’s determination to save Doctor Watson on that day was increased by wanting to keep Rodney from losing yet another underling. But the Carson clone didn’t remember those last six months, let alone that final day, so Radek couldn’t ask him, and he knew better to voice his suspicion to Rodney, as Rodney already blamed himself enough for that day’s events. It had been perfectly clear to Radek and Carson alike that Rodney would wiggle out of the fishing trip well before Rodney actually did so, and Radek himself felt guilty over putting playing chess over Carson getting to enjoy his first day off in months and resulted it in being Carson’s final day _period_.

Not to mention that the Project Arcturus incident would seem to indicate that whenever Rodney reached his breaking point over his closest friend’s death and technical return, it would be a disaster on a nigh unconceivable scale. Because Rodney spent most of his time grousing about and misnaming his underlings, and look what he did when he lost one too many of them: most of a solar system went _poof_. Radek would amend that it was a thankfully uninhabited one, but that was only the case because the Ancients themselves had made a similar mistake all those millennia ago. Still, to go back to the start of his train of thought, the point remained that despite not really showing it, Rodney did in fact care about the ‘idiots’ he was responsible for as the head of the expedition’s science division.

Pushing up his glasses, Radek admitted, “You are right, I’m sorry.”

Rodney’s lips quirked upwards. “It took you that long to get that out? I mean, thank you for acknowledging the obvious, because I’m always right, but still.”

Radek stuck his tongue out at him instead of admitting that his mind was wandering. Only a bit of that was because of the late night, as often as he and Rodney had to work nonstop to solve the latest disaster; most of it was due to the memories and regrets being dredged up due to this specific situation.

Rodney stepped towards the table and picked up his coffee mug. He grimaced after taking a sip. “It’s gone cold.”

“Coffee does that sometimes,” Radek deadpanned in his native language. His own mug had been last drained over an hour ago, and left empty as neither of them had yet gotten around to making a fresh pot; Radek did not want to think about how much coffee they had drank over the past several hours, especially in comparison to their MRE intake. If Carson had been around, he certainly would have given them a disapproving look and possibly a lecture on their caffeine consumption. Of course, had Carson had been around, all three of them would be sound asleep right now.

Before Rodney could respond, their earpiece coms crackled to life. Once they confirmed their presence, Amelia Banks’ voice came through, “There’s been an unscheduled wormhole activation.” There was a brief pause. “Doctors McKay and Zelenka, both Colonel Sheppard and Doctor Beckett were among those who returned.”

Radek was both relieved and stricken, and going by his expression, Rodney had similar mixed feelings. Both of them had been so afraid of history repeating itself that they hadn’t really spared any thoughts about the others off-world. Though to be fair, Sheppard’s luck was truly absurd, starting with how his heart had to be stopped and restarted to get an Iratus bug off his neck while a puddle jumper was halfway through an active Gate. Still, that was no excuse for not being concerned for Major Teldy and her team.

“Who didn’t…?” Radek trailed off, as Rodney was still looking rather wan.

“Captain Vega’s body needs to be retrieved from the planet as soon as possible. The five personnel who came back need to go take decontamination showers and then looked over in the infirmary as per the safety protocols.”

“What?” Rodney spluttered. “What the hell happened over there?”

“I don’t know, McKay, but they came through calmly and without being pursued. There didn’t seem to be any blood on them either.”

“Thank you for informing us,” Radek told the technician. She didn’t have to tell them immediately, but she did and for that, Radek was grateful. Though Chuck also had some of the thanks, given how it had him Radek had asked for any updates from several hours ago.

“Of course.”

Rodney was all but vibrating, so Radek told him, “We can’t wait outside the showers, let’s wait for them at the infirmary.”

“I- right. Yes.” Rodney looked rather wobbly so Radek frowned at him. It might end up that Rodney would need some medical attention himself, but Radek wasn’t about to push. Especially since any comments might induce his hypochondria instead of confirming a legitimate ailment. Then again, a minor recent overlook of Rodney’s health _had_ nearly led to his death.

Standing up, Radek stretched and let out a yawn. Despite everything, it was a relief to know that Carson was hopefully physically unharmed. Odds were, Carson would have at least one new nightmare to add to his rotation. Certainly, Radek had an increasing variety of them. He glanced over at the now wan Rodney, once again wondering why the nightmare-creating entity had gone for a _Moby Dick_ theme, given all Rodney had gone through since his arrival to the Pegasus Galaxy. Going by the discussions that had happened during his own psych evaluations, Radek would guess that it was symbolic of a loss of control, but he hadn’t yet worked up the courage to ask Rodney directly about the subject.

“What if he decides to go back to Earth?” Rodney worried. “I mean, after this, why would he stay in this galaxy at all?”

As he walked by, Radek would have liked to joke that Carson might instead opt to stay in the city instead of venturing to other planets, but everyone knew exactly how dangerous the city could be for the Scottish doctor. But at least there were still three of them tonight.

DEFCON 3

Radek and Rodney reached the infirmary before the returning quintet, so they stood against a wall, standing out of the medical personnel’s way as they prepared to for the necessary check-ups. Of course, Doctor Keller kept glancing over at Rodney, who had remained rather pale even after their brisk walk. And he seemed sweatier than what the walk should have induced from the exertion.

“Are you all right?” Radek frowned.

Rodney blinked at him, his eyes a darker blue than normal, before scowling. “What kind of question is that? Carson ended up in a near-fatal situation despite Sheppard saying it’d be fine.”

“Well, there’s the problem,” Doctor Keller light-heartedly noted as she approached them. “Colonel Sheppard jinxed the mission, huh?”

“He was just trying to keep me from tagging along,” Rodney grumbled, leaning against the wall. Radek noticed with concern that Rodney was still trembling; apparently, the adrenaline reaction to the news that Carson was safe must be hitting Rodney hard.

“Are you okay, Rodney?” she frowned. “You seem kinda off.”

Rodney ran a hand through his receding brown hair. “Why are you guys worrying about me? Carson, Sheppard, and the three survivors are the ones who’ve been in trouble. Seriously, we know for a fact that Michael tends to shut down abandoned labs, so what the hell happened?”

Breathing heavily, Rodney rubbed at his temples. “Sorry, sorry. I just have a headache on top of everything else.”

“Honestly, a stress headache is understandable given the circumstances,” Doctor Keller sympathized. “Want me to get you some aspirin?”

After a moment of looking torn, Rodney nodded. The blonde woman headed off to do so. Rodney shifted anxiously from one foot to another. “She’s been treating me weird ever since she got that goddamn parasite out of my brain.”

“Well, near fatal occurrences do tend to lead to that.” Radek didn’t mention Rodney’s bad habit of fretting over every minor issue which might have been a factor in overlooking the early signs, as he didn’t want to blame Rodney for that, even though that might be part of Doctor Keller’s guilt. Also, given everything that had occurred in the Pegasus Galaxy since their arrival, deep down Radek couldn’t fault Rodney for his frequent fears.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Rodney countered. “I know what ‘hey, you nearly died on me’ reactions are like. I’ve experienced them often enough- both giving and receiving them. This is definitely not that. Something else happened and thanks to that stupid parasite, I have no clue _what_.”

“You could just _ask_ her.” Radek gestured expansively to underline his point.

Rodney scoffed, “Uh-huh. What am I supposed to say? Hey, did I say anything stupid or inappropriate while under the influence of a brain parasite? I mean, I am worried because the closest parallel I’ve got is how Teyla and Elizabeth treated Sheppard after his buggy incident, which is not a good sign.”

He clammed up as Doctor Keller approached them, a cup of water in one hand and presumably the aspirin in her other, closed hand.

“Did Rodney call you a dumb blonde while being affected by the parasite in his brain?”

Rodney buried his face in his hands. “ _I hate you_.” Looking up, he hastily amended, “I- I obviously meant Radek, not you, Jennifer. You’re- you’re wonderful. Um.”

With a giggle, Doctor Keller handed over the water. “Yeah, I’ve heard that story. But don’t worry, Sam wrapped it up by saying that you’ve really grown as a person since then.”

Taking a sip, Rodney had the sense to stay quiet for once in his life.

“So he didn’t insult you?”

Doctor Keller all but blushed, which was an unexpected development. With a soft smile, she informed them, “No, Rodney was really sweet actually.”

Eyebrows raised, Radek skeptically echoed, “Rodney? Sweet?”

“I gotta agree with Radek here,” Rodney mumbled, back pressed hard against the wall. “I am not sweet. You are, though.”

The younger woman really did blush and ducked her head a bit. “Thanks, Rodney.”

“Doctor Keller, the patients are coming in,” a nurse called out so Doctor Keller handed the pills over and left after a final smile aimed at a flabbergasted Rodney. Radek wasn’t sure if he was connecting the dots right, but if he was… well, it wouldn’t be the strangest thing to happen in this expedition.

Rodney took the aspirin, then pressed a hand to his stomach. Radek glanced over but then the still-damp quintet came in, all clad in white infirmary attire and pale blue slippers. Their mission clothes would presumably be studied before either being returned or incinerated. It was a relief to actually see that Carson was alive, his hair nearly black due to its wetness and looking rather wan himself.

Each of them took a seat on a bed for a doctor or nurse to look over. Doctor Keller opted to look over Colonel Sheppard, whose damp hair still managed to defy gravity, instead of her predecessor; Radek had heard enough through the grapevine to know that matters were still understandably awkward between the initial and current CMOs. If Carson became a more frequent fixture in Atlantis, Radek suspected that they would bond over dealing with Rodney just as he and Carson had all that time ago back at the Antarctic outpost. Of course, it was probably more of a priority to look over the military commander than somebody who was officially only a glorified consultant so it was possible Keller had valid reasons for her choice. Possibly Radek just wanted to be _absolutely_ sure that Carson was healthy by having the most qualified doctor look him over.

Standing still, Rodney watched intently as Carson was looked over, including a blood sample being taken. Radek glanced over at where Major Teldy, Sergeant Mehra, and Doctor Porter were undergoing the same process. Everybody seemed unharmed, although they all seemed quiet. Occasionally one of the women would glance over at an empty bed, presumably because they kept forgetting Captain Vega’s absence. With a wince, Radek recalled how just as it was sinking in that Carson was gone that they then lost Doctor Weir, leading him and the rest of the expedition to undergo the process all over again.

Radek and Rodney only approached Carson’s bed when the medical personnel were done and had left to run the tests, although Rodney’s jitters had only magnified during the wait. Radek guessed that the aspirin hadn’t kicked in yet or he was merely anxious to actually interact with the Scot. Carson briefly smiled at their approach before suddenly squinting at Rodney.

“When was the last time you ate?”

“That’s not important,” Rodney snapped. “What the hell happened off-world?”

“Rodney.”

Spluttering, Rodney gestured irritably. “I don’t know. I was too busy worrying about you and apparently with good reason.”

“Jennifer!” Carson called out. When the younger woman looked over at them from her laptop, Carson asked, “Could you please grab some non-citric fruit juice and crackers? Rodney’s hypoglycemia is kicking in.”

Carson frowned at Rodney as Jennifer hurried off.

“Really, Rodney, has this become a regular occurrence since-” Carson shut his mouth, not wanting to finish the sentence.

Radek recalled, “That’s right, Rodney thought he was coming down with symptoms for turning into a Wraith spaceship but he just needed a snack.”

Making a face, Rodney countered, “Look, the fact that was even on the table as a possibility means I wasn’t overreacting. Usually I am better about eating but-”

Suddenly Rodney shut his mouth and blinked rapidly, looking very wobbly. Radek moved to support him and did so despite Rodney’s attempt to wave him off, mostly because of Carson’s overt concern. His eyes closed, Rodney breathed in and out slowly.

Carson moved over on the bed as he asked softly, “Rodney, sit down, please.”

“Fine,” Rodney groused as Radek helped him do so. “I thought I was just stressed.”

Wryly Radek noted, “Basically the one time you think you’re fine, you’re actually not. Why I am not surprised.” He added a few more colorful comments in Czech to vent at his friend, because honestly, Rodney’s antics were going to give him an ulcer one of these days.

Rodney stuck his tongue out at him in response, making Carson chuckle.

Doctor Keller came over, a juice box and a small baggie of crackers in hand. “I found some apple juice.”

“That’s perfect, thank you,” Carson beamed.

Grumpily Rodney took the juice box, inserted the straw, and started to suck down the juice. Carson gently nudged Rodney’s ribs with his elbow, leading Rodney to remark, “Thanks, Jennifer.”

“I really did think it was a stress headache. Sorry, Rodney.”

Carson sighed, “It can be tough to tell when Rodney is being himself versus when his hypoglycemia is acting up. Took me over a bloody _year_ to figure out an accurate system.”

Rodney stuffed a cracker into his mouth instead of responding.

“Hang on, why is McKay getting a snack? I want a snack!” Sheppard remarked from his bed.

Doctor Keller called over, “You’re not the one at risk of a seizure or unconsciousness if you don’t get food in you immediately, Colonel.”

Sheppard looked skeptical but didn’t argue. Radek was less than thrilled that Rodney’s teammates still took his hypoglycemia as being part of his hypochondria rather than an actual medical issue, but right now, Radek couldn’t really argue as he had missed the warning signs as Rodney merely being stressed over Carson. Though at least Sheppard hadn’t teased Rodney about fainting, so matters really were improving between the two of them.

Jennifer leaned over to smooth down Rodney’s hair. “I’ll check in on you in fifteen, okay?”

Pointing a finger firmly at him, she insisted, “Stay put,” before walking off.

Amused, Carson noted, “She certainly has your number, doesn’t she?”

Grumpily Rodney just ate another cracker.

Radek told Carson, “We are glad you’re all right. Obviously, we were both very worried about you.”

Carson rubbed the back of his neck, flushing a bit. Earnestly he replied, “I didn’t mean to cause both of you to fret so.”

“You never do,” Radek acknowledged, rolling his eyes, although he softened the sarcasm by leveling a fond smile at his friend.

With a yawn, Carson commented, “Still, I think we might need to reschedule that lunch we had planned because we’ll need to return to the planet for further research.”

“Of course; I can tag along, perhaps? I’d like to get a look at the tech there and we almost never get to go on off-world missions together.” Part of Radek was still delighted that he was getting to use the present tense about Carson again, let alone getting to talk and spend time with him.

“I’d enjoy that,” Carson smiled, his blue eyes shining. Rodney was somewhat sulking about being more or less ignored, but too bad. Carson wasn’t as close to him as he was to Rodney, but that didn’t mean that Radek and Carson weren’t friends at all. Then again, having low blood sugar always made Rodney extra cranky so hopefully the snack would improve his mood.

On the other hand, apparently Rodney wasn’t the only one who left felt out as behind him, Radek heard one of the women grumble, “What about us? Hell, what about Vega?”

“Dusty, that wasn’t exactly banter between me and Beckett yesterday- he was just making light of the truth and I went along with it,” came an urgent whisper from Doctor Porter.

“Oh,” came the first voice, who turned out to be Sergeant Mehra when Radek looked behind himself. She looked suitably unnerved, making Radek wonder what exactly Carson and Alison had talked about, as Carson had gone through a lot in the past few years. Regaining her snark, Mehra noted, “Well, that’s messed up. Good to know this galaxy is even more exciting than advertised, huh?”

“Quite so,” the third woman, Major Teldy, wryly chimed in.

Radek and Carson shared an awkward look, both of them having lived through way too many weird events. For starters, Carson even _being_ alive. Looking up from his juice box, Rodney snapped, “I still haven’t gotten any answers about what happened out there.”

“We ended up letting the lab’s location and purpose slip to a local guy, and he ended up freeing a bunch of feral hybrids from their stasis pods in an attempt to see if his wife was among them,” Sergeant Mehra explained. “So we spent the night trying to stay alive, mostly in and around the village that had been abandoned back when Michael was doing his research and capturing villagers for it.”

Well, that was horrifying. It was times like this that Radek was grateful to spend most of his time in the labs, because the Pegasus Galaxy had some serious terrors lurking throughout it. The worst occasions were the ones where their well-intentioned efforts just caused trouble either for the city, a random planet, or even for the galaxy as a whole.

“Not helped by the fact that they had gills on their necks to emit fog, the creepy buggers,” Carson observed. “And the poor local bloke ended up killed by the hybrids, same as Captain Vega, so we might want to go inform the next-over village about what happened sometime soon.”

Rodney held out the last cracker to him, leading Carson to just raise his eyebrows until Rodney ate it himself. Radek smirked a bit; he had missed seeing Carson keep Rodney in check with such ease. Even Doctor Weir hadn’t handled Rodney with such little fuss. As for Radek himself, he did his best but his prodding had a fifty-fifty chance of working versus just making Rodney more obstinate.

“I don’t understand why the hybrids were alive to be released,” Radek remarked to his two friends, crossing his arms. “You both told me about how Michael shut down his processes, including the hybrids, when a lab was discovered by us. If the lab was truly abandoned, why were the hybrids still in stasis?”

“Maybe Michael meant to come back once he figured out how to control them?” Sheppard suggested.

“I’m sorry; these hybrids couldn’t be controlled by Michael?” spluttered Rodney. There was an awkward lull from the guys, each of them aware that this Carson was able to at least be prevented from acting against Michael by him. Why would the apparently savage early-era hybrids fare better on that front?

Carson looked down ruefully as Rodney sipped angrily from the juice box. Radek didn’t even realize that could be done, but Rodney did always tend to take ‘impossible’ as a challenge.

Sheppard stated, “Look, we’re now sure that we got all of them. Most of them by blowing them up. Carson and I had to go down a dried-out well to avoid the blast.”

DEFCON 2

“What?” yelped Rodney in English as Radek did the same more angrily in Czech along with some expletives.

“It’s not my fault- he just showed up right after a hybrid caused me to drop the activated C4.”

“You lost track of Carson,” Rodney realized in horror. “And then he nearly got blown up?”

“Hey, _we_ nearly got blown up.”

Both Rodney and Radek gave Sheppard highly unimpressed looks. Carson looked abashed as he admitted, “I didn’t know there was anything explosive about to happen, I promise.”

Trembling again, Rodney wrapped his fingers around Carson’s wrist. Radek raised his eyebrows in confusion but Carson just shot Rodney a worried look.

“It was a pretty cool explosion, though, and they lived, so what’s the big deal?” Sergeant Mehra asked.

Major Teldy informed her, “The problem is that it was an explosion that killed the original Doctor Beckett.”

“All right, I think I ought to shut up now,” the sergeant decided, leaning back in her bed. 

Looking behind himself again, Radek saw that Doctor Porter was nodding rapidly. Radek was fairly sure that she wasn’t eager to see the results if her teammate kept provoking Rodney, however unintentionally. On this topic, Radek might support Rodney in his wrath so it would definitely be for the best if Sergeant Mehra didn’t poke any other sore spots of theirs.

Rodney glared at Sheppard, “You said you’d keep an eye out on him, and instead you nearly got both yourself and Carson blown up? Did what the alternate-me go through to keep your reckless ass alive mean nothing to you?”

“To be fair, saving me was just a side-benefit. I think you mostly wanted to hit the reset button on the whole galaxy to stop Michael after your own happily ever after got ruined.”

“Okay, first off, that might have been the breaking point for my alternate self, but do not diminish what he did to just that,” Rodney tightly retorted. “That was the final domino, not a sudden, selfish decision. To end up losing everybody I care about, either to horrific death or to losing contact after the expedition goes back to Earth? That is goddamn _bleak_. Furthermore, does anybody really think Michael would have been content to just rule over the Pegasus Galaxy? Recall why we’re so afraid of the Wraith getting access to the city?”

“To keep them from Earth,” Radek answered readily as he realized what Rodney meant. “You think your alternate-self realized that eventually, even if it wasn’t in his lifetime, that Michael would turn his sights on the Milky Way Galaxy.”

“Look what happened when the Ori learned about it,” Rodney tiredly pointed out. “Michael already has an edge in knowing that Earth exists. So, yeah, maybe- maybe a girlfriend dying was the final straw, but don’t you **dare** claim that was the only straw involved.”

To cap his spiel off, Rodney pointedly sucked down some apple juice. Well, that was interesting; nobody outside the command staff knew what Sheppard had been told, so Radek wondered if that information was affecting Rodney’s behavior and convictions, particularly in light of what had happened upon their arrival in the infirmary. After all, Rodney had let a few things slip over the past several months. He probably shouldn’t be trying to piece together anything, as the alternate timeline couldn’t play out in the same way here, but Radek decided that he wouldn’t let that stop him when it was clear that Rodney’s potential happiness was involved.

Carson bumped their shoulders together. “I know that.”

Radek was vaguely disconcerted by the fact that by all accounts, neither his nor Carson’s fates had been passed on from the hologram-Rodney to Sheppard according to this Rodney (who was similarly baffled, which was _why_ he had told Radek even that much, as an apology). It was entirely possible that Radek and Rodney had merely lost touch after their return to Earth, but that felt wrong somehow, given how much they had gone through together. Radek was afraid that just as Rodney hadn’t spoken of the first mandatory rest day to anybody, not even after finding this Carson, the alternate Rodney hadn’t told even his hologram what had happened to the alternate versions of Radek and Carson. It was always unnerving to be reminded that, despite everything the expedition had gone through, they were in fact in one of the better timelines.

Rodney glowered at Sheppard. “Besides, you don’t have any room to talk after nearly getting Carson killed on his first off-world mission since after he went into stasis.”

“It was my choice.”

With a snort, Rodney complained, “Yeah, right. Even before-” he gestured with his free hand at Carson, presumably indicating the whole ‘turning out to be a clone’ matter. “You always blamed yourself for what Michael got up to.”

“Because he is my fault.”

“No, you got backed into a corner and were afraid that if you didn’t succeed, that the military higher-ups and the IOA would end up condoning a genocide,” Doctor Keller broke in wearily. “Trust me, that’s a large part of my motivation on _my_ latest project.”

Carson flinched and pressed his shoulder against Rodney’s, who looked equally unsettled although at least Rodney’s complexion was improving between the snack and getting to rant a bit. Radek winced, because both Carson and Rodney had a bad habit of holding themselves accountable for basically anything and everything that went awry whether or not they were directly involved. Of course, there was a concerning possibility that Keller’s project wouldn’t go any better than any of Carson’s, but that would be something to deal with later.

Keller looked at where Rodney’s fingers were wrapped around Carson’s wrist. “Any particular reason you’re checking Beckett’s pulse, Rodney?”

Rodney looked down and muttered, “Just checking that he still has one.”

Radek looked down to study his shoes, not having a single clue what to say about that.

DEFCON 5

“Look, it looks like we’ll be fine,” Carson reassured Rodney after a moment, although he didn’t indicate that Rodney should stop feeling his pulse.

“Agreed,” nodded Keller. “We’ll want you lot to stay overnight for observation, especially since you did inhale abnormal fog, but it looks like nothing is seriously wrong with any of you. And that includes you, Rodney. Are you reassured enough that you can go to another bed, or do you want to share Carson’s a while longer?”

Rodney shifted awkwardly. “Should I go?”

“I wouldn’t mind some company, to be honest. This past night might outrank the planet with those bloody awful hallucinations,” Carson noted quietly. “It was a hell of a welcome back to the Pegasus Galaxy.”

“Sorry,” Rodney mumbled.

“Well, I for one am selfish enough to be glad to see you again,” Radek admitted. “But as I’m about the only person here who doesn’t have to be, I’ll be off to get some sleep in my own bed. Rodney, please take a day off to recover fully. You’re extra annoying when your blood sugar levels drop.”

When Rodney made a face at him, Radek just smirked before saying, “Goodbye, both of you. See you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Radek!”

“Don’t cause any havoc tomorrow without me to supervise.”

At the infirmary door, Radek turned back to declare, “Please, McKay, you’re the one who wreaks havoc!”

“He’s got a point,” concurred Sheppard.

“Oh, like you’re one to talk,” Rodney groused.

Carson just laughed softly as he used his free hand to take the blanket from Keller so he could drape it over both himself and Rodney. Keller also took the empty juice box from Rodney to throw away. Nurses were passing out blankets to the other patients. As he headed down the hallway out of the infirmary, Radek let himself smile. Without a doubt, this peace wouldn’t last, but for now, everything was more or less fine. Major Teldy’s team would never be the same, but Radek wanted to be selfishly glad that Carson was fine for a bit longer before acknowledging that. It looked like Rodney hadn’t quite reached even that point, but Rodney had spent roughly two days locked in his quarters, presumably having a small breakdown, before emerging to champion on the Carson clone’s behalf back when virtually everybody else mistrusted him. 

For his part, Radek had learned the news from Evan during that time period and had opted to be on the outskirts of that series of events, instead shouldering most of Rodney’s standard work both as a favor to his friend and to keep his more-than-usual emotional wreck of a boss from wrecking the science division. And to be honest, it served as a distraction for Radek himself on how to feel about that turn of events. He hadn’t even dared be in the room when Carson had gone into stasis.

It really was a miracle that Rodney had only blown up most of one solar system so far, given the quantity and quality of stressors he had personally undergone since the expedition’s conception. That was the only time Radek had felt Rodney had reached a ‘DEFCON 1’ status, although the next level down was a semi-regular occurrence. Given Rodney’s volatility, Radek tried to keep an eye on his boss’s emotional state for both his own sake and for the sake of the universe. Not to mention it was in Radek’s best interests to make sure his friend and boss wasn’t going to have a mental breakdown. He meant it about not wanting Rodney’s job.

With a yawn, Radek stepped into a transporter. Hopefully his sleep would be peaceful for once, knowing that his closest two friends were safe in the infirmary. Tomorrow would certainly be the opposite of serene, especially once the news of what had happened filtered through the rest of the expedition, but for now Radek just wanted to rest for at least a few hours until he got up to deal with the next crisis, even if it was as minor as Carson and Rodney fussing at each other about acceptable levels of risk-taking. Given how he had spent about two years believing he’d never would deal with that again, Radek would deal with it every day if that’s what it took to have Carson around. Selfishly, Radek hoped that this mission wouldn’t deter Carson from staying in the Pegasus Galaxy, but that too was a problem for tomorrow.

Exiting the transporter, Radek headed towards his quarters to hopefully get some sleep. Hopefully Carson and Rodney would _actually_ rest instead of letting their fears keep them awake, as Radek was certainly going to do his best to do just that.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the story!


End file.
